Friday, May 23, 2014

12 Quick Ways to Build Self Esteem

12 Quick Ways to Build Self Esteem

Post written by Warren. Follow him on Twitter.

Unleash your inner self esteem.
Unleash your inner self esteem.
Self esteem is a tricky subject.
We often talk about how to instill self esteem in children, or whether someone we know has too little (or too much) self esteem.  But, we rarely evaluate our own levels.
Perhaps it’s because we’re afraid of what we’ll find.
If you stop to do a personal inventory, you may find that you lack the confidence you should have in yourself.  Of course, there are an unlimited number of factors that have gone into the development of your self esteem, dating all the way back to childhood.  That doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t improve your own feelings of self worth.
After all, it’s hard for others to have confidence in us if we don’t first have it in ourselves.
Implementing these tactics in your daily life really can have a cumulative effect that will have you feeling more confidence.
  1. Set goals for yourself. It’s impossible to get anywhere if you don’t first know where you’re trying to go.  By setting goals for daily life, you are far more likely to get what you want.  As you reach these goals, your belief in your own abilities will grow, as will your list of personal successes.  Talk about a self-esteem booster!
  2. Acknowledge your own strengths. It’s not uncommon to get so caught up in the things we want to improve about ourselves that we simply forget about all of the great things that make us special.  Create a list of the things that you are good at and let yourself feel pride over your accomplishments.  Are you a great listener?  Do you have a good work ethic?  Do you keep your car clean?  Some of these things may seem small, but when you have a list of good qualities staring you in the face, it’s a lot easier to feel good about yourself.
  3. Avoid negativity. Many people spew negativity as a way to bolster their own lacking self esteem.  By avoiding others who do this, you will refrain from taking that negativity into your own life.  In addition, there is something empowering about “taking the high road.”  A great example of this comes from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements.  The first agreement is to “be impeccable with your word,” which means to speak the truth and avoid things like gossip and negativity.
  4. Get a makeover. While self esteem certainly shouldn’t be dependent upon looks or clothing, these things can be an influence.  Sometimes something as simple as a new hairstyle or an updated wardrobe can be the impetus to feeling better about yourself.
  5. Project confidence. Low self esteem can perpetuate itself, and one of the best ways to break the cycle is to remove outward signs of it.  When you meet with someone, offer a firm handshake, look him or her in the eye, and make yourself heard.  These things can all be difficult at first, because they take you out of your comfort zone, but as you recognize that others are treating you differently, you’ll begin to feel different.
  6. Give yourself a break. If you were dealing with a young child, you would give him or her a lot of leeway and would offer guidance and support to develop self esteem.  You deserve the same compassion.  Everyone makes mistakes, so allow them to be learning experiences and move forward.
  7. Check your posture. Just for a moment, lift your chin, push your shoulders back, and walk across the room.  Our emotions are connected to our physical bodies, and simply changing your posture can have a surprising effect on how you feel.
  8. Smile. Again, our physical bodies can have a major effect on our emotions.  Start by spending five minutes smiling for no good reason at all.  It may feel a little odd at first, but you will find that by the end of the five minutes, your mood will have lifted, and you will be smiling for real.
  9. Forget perfection. Striving to do your best is certainly a positive trait, but striving for perfection is setting yourself up for failure.  For most of us, our best will never be “perfect,” and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Instead, focus on giving your all, and you’ll be better able to enjoy the outcome instead of kicking yourself for not having attained the unattainable.
  10. Be grateful. Much has been said about the power of the “gratitude journal.”  Start a notebook or create a file that you use simply to write down the things in your life for which you are grateful.  They can be big things like health and family, or small things like fresh-squeezed orange juice with breakfast.  The idea is to start recognizing the positive things in your life in order to reshape how you think about yourself.
  11. Impress yourself. Think of something that you admire someone else for doing, and then do it yourself.  There are endless possibilities, of course, from taking a class to reading a certain book to doing volunteer work and beyond.  Choose something that will cause you to “stretch” yourself a little bit but that isn’t impossible so that you will be sure to experience the feeling that comes with success.
  12. Accept compliments. As you implement these ideas, it’s likely that people will notice and remark.  Getting a makeover, for example, is sure to elicit compliments from friends and coworkers.  Rather than just brushing these kinds words off, embrace them.  Smile and say “thank you.”  As you learn to accept compliments, you will realize that you are worthy of them.
Self esteem is not something that can be granted overnight, but there are many small steps that you can take quickly and easily to get you on the path to feeling more confident.  In most cases, building self esteem is a case of replacing negative images with positive ones, and each of the suggestions here helps you to do that in a small way.  When you add them together, however, you have the opportunity to change your outlook and your life.
Just remember this:

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ”
How do YOU not only build your self esteem, but maintain it?
I want to hear your thoughts.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin Posted on September 10, 2009


Monday, May 19, 2014

Are You Lacking Self-Discipline? - Part 1

A man does not live until he begins to discipline himself; he merely exists. Like an animal he gratifies his desires and pursues his inclinations just where they may lead him. He is happy as a beast is happy, because he is not conscious of what he is depriving himself; he suffers as the beast suffers, because he does not know the way out of suffering. He does not intelligently reflect upon life, and lives in a series of sensations, longings, and confused memories which are unrelated to any central idea or principle. A man whose inner life is so ungoverned and chaotic must necessarily manifest this confusion in the visible conditions of his outer life in the world; and though for a time, running with the stream of his desires, he may draw to himself a more or less large share of the outer necessities and comforts of life, he never achieves any real success nor accomplishes any real good, and sooner or later wordly failure and disaster are inevitable, as the direct result of the inward failure to properly adjust and regulate those mental forces which make the outer life.

Before a man accomplish anything of an enduring nature in the world he must first of all acquire some measure of success in the management of his own mind. This is as mathematical a truism as that two and two are four, for, "out of the heart are the issues of life." If a man cannot govern the forces within himself, he cannot hold a firm hand upon the outer activities which form his visible life. On the other hand, as a man succeeds, in governing himself he rises to higher and higher levels of power and usefulness and success in the world. The only difference between the life of the beast and that of the undisciplined man is that the man has a wider variety of desires, and experiences a greater intensity of suffering. It may be said of such a man that he is dead, being truly dead to self-control, chastity, fortitude, and all the nobler qualities which constitute life. In the consciousness of such a man the crucified Christ ies entombed, awaiting that resurrection which shall revivify the mortal sufferer, and wake him up to a knowledge of tha realities of his existence.

With the practice of self-discipline a man begins to live, for he then commences to rise above the inward confusion and to adjust his conduct to a steadfast centre within himself. He ceases to follow where inclination leads him, reins in the steed of his desires, and lives in accordance with the dictates of reason and wisdom. Hitherto his life has been without purpose or meaning, but now he begins to consciously mould his own destiny; he is "clothed and in his right mind."

In the process of self-discipline there are three stages namely;

1. Control

2. Purification

3. Relinquishment

A man begins to discipline himself by controlling those passions which have hitherto controlled him; he resists temptation and guards himself against all those tendencies to selfish gratifications which are so easy and natural, and which have formerly dominated him. He brings his appetite into subjection, and begins to eat as a reasonable and responsible being, practising moderation and thoughtfulness in the selection of his food, with the object of making his body a pure instrument through which he may live and act as becomes a man, and no longer degarding that body by pandering to gustatory pleasure. He puts a check upon his tongue, his temper, and, in fact, his every animal desire and tendency, and this he does by referring all his acts to a fixed centre within himself. It is a process of living from within outward, instead of, as formerly, from without inward. He conceives of an ideal, and, enshrining that ideal in the sacred recesses of his heart, he regulates his conduct in accordance with its exaction and demands.

There is a philosophical hypothesis that at the heart of every atom and every aggregation of atoms in the universe there is a motionless center which is the sustaining source of all the universal activities. Be this as it may, there is certainly in the heart of every man and woman a selfless centre without which the outer man could not be, and the ignoring of which leads to suffering and confusion. This selfless center which takes the form, in the mind, of an ideal of unselfishness and spotless purity, the attainment of which is desirable, is man's eternal refuge from the storms of passion and all the conflicting elements of his lower nature. It is the Rock of Ages, the Christ within, the divine and immortal in all men.

End of part 1. Part 2 coming soon...

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