12 Quick Ways to Build Self Esteem

Post written by Warren. Follow him on Twitter.

Unleash your inner self esteem.

Self esteem is a tricky subject.
We often talk about how to instill self esteem in children, or whether someone we know has too little (or too much) self esteem.  But, we rarely evaluate our own levels.
Perhaps it’s because we’re afraid of what we’ll find.
If you stop to do a personal inventory, you may find that you lack the confidence you should have in yourself.  Of course, there are an unlimited number of factors that have gone into the development of your self esteem, dating all the way back to childhood.  That doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t improve your own feelings of self worth.
After all, it’s hard for others to have confidence in us if we don’t first have it in ourselves.
Implementing these tactics in your daily life really can have a cumulative effect that will have you feeling more confidence.

1. Set goals for yourself. It’s impossible to get anywhere if you don’t first know where you’re trying to go.  By setting goals for daily life, you are far more likely to get what you want.  As you reach these goals, your belief in your own abilities will grow, as will your list of personal successes.  Talk about a self-esteem booster!
2. Acknowledge your own strengths. It’s not uncommon to get so caught up in the things we want to improve about ourselves that we simply forget about all of the great things that make us special.  Create a list of the things that you are good at and let yourself feel pride over your accomplishments.  Are you a great listener?  Do you have a good work ethic?  Do you keep your car clean?  Some of these things may seem small, but when you have a list of good qualities staring you in the face, it’s a lot easier to feel good about yourself.
3. Avoid negativity. Many people spew negativity as a way to bolster their own lacking self esteem.  By avoiding others who do this, you will refrain from taking that negativity into your own life.  In addition, there is something empowering about “taking the high road.”  A great example of this comes from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements.  The first agreement is to “be impeccable with your word,” which means to speak the truth and avoid things like gossip and negativity.
4. Get a makeover. While self esteem certainly shouldn’t be dependent upon looks or clothing, these things can be an influence.  Sometimes something as simple as a new hairstyle or an updated wardrobe can be the impetus to feeling better about yourself.
5. Project confidence. Low self esteem can perpetuate itself, and one of the best ways to break the cycle is to remove outward signs of it.  When you meet with someone, offer a firm handshake, look him or her in the eye, and make yourself heard.  These things can all be difficult at first, because they take you out of your comfort zone, but as you recognize that others are treating you differently, you’ll begin to feel different.
6. Give yourself a break. If you were dealing with a young child, you would give him or her a lot of leeway and would offer guidance and support to develop self esteem.  You deserve the same compassion.  Everyone makes mistakes, so allow them to be learning experiences and move forward.
7. Check your posture. Just for a moment, lift your chin, push your shoulders back, and walk across the room.  Our emotions are connected to our physical bodies, and simply changing your posture can have a surprising effect on how you feel.
8. Smile. Again, our physical bodies can have a major effect on our emotions.  Start by spending five minutes smiling for no good reason at all.  It may feel a little odd at first, but you will find that by the end of the five minutes, your mood will have lifted, and you will be smiling for real.
9. Forget perfection. Striving to do your best is certainly a positive trait, but striving for perfection is setting yourself up for failure.  For most of us, our best will never be “perfect,” and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Instead, focus on giving your all, and you’ll be better able to enjoy the outcome instead of kicking yourself for not having attained the unattainable.
10. Be grateful. Much has been said about the power of the “gratitude journal.”  Start a notebook or create a file that you use simply to write down the things in your life for which you are grateful.  They can be big things like health and family, or small things like fresh-squeezed orange juice with breakfast.  The idea is to start recognizing the positive things in your life in order to reshape how you think about yourself.
11. Impress yourself. Think of something that you admire someone else for doing, and then do it yourself.  There are endless possibilities, of course, from taking a class to reading a certain book to doing volunteer work and beyond.  Choose something that will cause you to “stretch” yourself a little bit but that isn’t impossible so that you will be sure to experience the feeling that comes with success.
12. Accept compliments. As you implement these ideas, it’s likely that people will notice and remark.  Getting a makeover, for example, is sure to elicit compliments from friends and coworkers.  Rather than just brushing these kinds words off, embrace them.  Smile and say “thank you.”  As you learn to accept compliments, you will realize that you are worthy of them.

Self esteem is not something that can be granted overnight, but there are many small steps that you can take quickly and easily to get you on the path to feeling more confident.  In most cases, building self esteem is a case of replacing negative images with positive ones, and each of the suggestions here helps you to do that in a small way.  When you add them together, however, you have the opportunity to change your outlook and your life.

Just remember this:

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ”

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How do YOU not only build your self esteem, but maintain it?
I want to hear your thoughts.

Posted on September 10, 2009

SOURCE http://www.thehappyself.com/build-self-esteem/

4 SIMPLE WAYS TO EXPERIENCE GREAT HAPPINESS AND TRUE FREEDOM

4 SIMPLE WAYS TO EXPERIENCE GREAT HAPPINESS AND TRUE FREEDOM


Author: Lynn Zavaro
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings
I love to write. For years I wrote in journals and kept them stacked in piles on my shelves.
One rainy winter evening when I was 25, I walked into the Bourgeois Pig bookshop on Franklin Boulevard in Los Angeles and saw a book next to the cash register written by Natalie Goldberg called Wild Mind. I bought it and my life change forever.
Natalie’s book was about writing practice. A Zen monk practitioner, she brings the fundamentals of Zen to the creative writing process. There were some simple rules she suggested. Some of them are:
• Set a timer and write without stopping your pen—without crossing out or editing. Follow your mind without interruption and see where it leads you.
• Be specific. Not tree, but cypress. Not a street, but Utica Avenue in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Not a fruit, but a ripe slice of juicy pineapple.
• Go for the jugular—toward what might scare you. Meet your insides. Dive all the way in.
Writing in personal journals was my sacred time just for myself, to have permission to go wild, reach my depths, and be truly free.
As fate would have it, I ended up taking a workshop with Natalie in Taos, New Mexico and we become friends. At a time of major transition in my life she invited to move to New Mexico and immerse myself in a writing life with her.
Looking back at the many journals I collected, I see the writing met me for that moment in time, but that once it came out of me onto the paper, it was no longer a part of “me.”
It came through me but was not of me. It was an expression that had passed no longer fitting the current moment.
Although the writings still hold energy, the person who wrote them seems unfamiliar. That Lynn is gone, in the past, over.
If you write in journals and go back to re-read them are you surprised, perhaps interested, sometimes astonished by the person who wrote them?
Discovering who we are is an ever-evolving process, always changing, expanding, and growing.
We may think we have arrived, we think we can say that we know who we are now, and then in a snap of the fingers that moment is gone and something new arises—a new insight, a new awareness, a new interest or endeavor.
This is why we humans are a creative process. And why perceiving ourselves as a process can bring great happiness and true freedom.
Giving myself permission to just write without trying to be something, become something, make something out of it that defines me gives me incredible freedom.
Letting go of the need to be labeled by a “noun,” I become more interested in the “verb.” For example, I am not a writer. I write. Now, I am free.
Then, I have permission to revel in every moment my words move across the page for absolutely no reason except for the great happiness I receive from it.
Here are 4 simple rules to experience great happiness and true freedom:


1.BE INTERESTED IN WHO YOU ARE NOT
Part of being truly happy and free is being interested in the mystery of all that we are not.
Becoming clearer about who we are not allows us to de-layer, empty, and let go of the conditioning that doesn’t serve us. We come closer to touching our true essence, our absolute nature.
I’ve discovered pieces of who I am not at various stages of my life.
Like when I had spiritual experiences and labeled myself a “spiritual person,” only to discover I cared a great deal more about what it means to be my best as a human.
Or when I wanted to be a teacher because I wanted to feel like I had “arrived,” yet overlooked the benefits of lifelong learning.
Or when I published my first book, sent it out into the world, and realized the many years I committed to it were over. Almost the next day after my book release, I felt the call to explore something new and write my next book on an almost entirely different subject.
It’s about having a shift in perception and letting go of what we thought we were but no longer are.
Even though you may not have a direct answer when you contemplate who you are not, it’s still worthy. It may encourage you to keep being interested in the exploration of you, to investigate the mystery of yourself, to hear your greater call and listen.


2.DON'T TAKE THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY
Real happiness and freedom come when we remind ourselves to lighten up, to not take our reactions, feelings, desires, or thoughts that feel important so seriously.
Try this: Don’t believe me. Don’t believe anyone else. Don’t believe yourself.
Try not to hold onto your present experience for dear life, because it will change. I try to observe when I use my present experience to build myself up, or manipulate it to show me in a certain light, or try to make something more out of it than it is.
Every once in a while, laugh a little at yourself, at the funny workings of your mind, how silly they can become when you take things oh-too-seriously, and keep a sense of humor.


3.BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
On average, Americans have approximately 3–5 careers a lifetime. Why is this so?
Because we are constantly evolving, constantly changing, constantly learning more about ourselves. We wear a hat, try it on, get a degree, a promotion, commit years, weeks and hours and then realize there is something else we want that feels more in alignment with who we really are.
Somewhere, somehow we were taught that life shouldn’t change, that no one really changes, that we are the same person now that we were as an infant. And in some sense this is true.
We came into this world without any of the conditioning we developed in the years to follow. We were pure—brought into this world with a certain DNA that had a purpose and the trick is to discover it.
The more we are true to ourselves, the closer we are to happiness and freedom.


4.HAVE THE COURAGE TO LIVE FULLY
What if you lived life fully? Engaged your dreams fully? Didn’t cheat it and just went for it?
What if you kept finding your edge? Stopped playing it safe and stretched a step beyond your comfort zone?
What if it didn’t matter what will happen later because you know that it will change?
And this is where I get a little heavy, but only for a moment for this too will change. As humans we know our lives will eventually end. Whatever comes into being will go out of being. Nothing in life is permanent. What we think we have will go away.
So, with this in mind, dive in to this thing called life. Live freely and creatively. Reach for the stars and meet your dreams. Since everything is changing anyway, we truly have nothing to lose.


Source: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/4-simple-ways-to-experience-great-happiness-and-true-freedom/

HAPPINESS - 9 TIPS

1. Find a purpose in life.
2. Practice compassion.
3. Look for the good in all situations.
4. Seek inner peace.
5. Let go of abusive people.
6. Smile.
7. Get fit. Look after yourself.
8. Simplify your life.
9. Be accepting of yourself and others.

PS.Thanks Dad for posting me these tips